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Gender Identity - Room for More than Either/Or

03/22/2022 12:56:41 PM

Mar22

Beth Schafer

Growing up, I never heard the phrase, “gender identity.” We were all assigned a physical sex at birth (and accompanying identity) based on our physiology and that was that. Those who somehow felt that their body did not reflect their understanding of themselves were left to be in a state of quiet conflict with no ways to express an alternate gender identity other than what was assigned at birth, without feeling “other”.

The LGBTQ community is helping us understand terms that express a plethora of sexual identities to be more accurate when describing someone. When it comes to gender identity there is a fluid continuum of labels that has room for the many ways that people feel about themselves and outwardly express that identification. Figuring out ways to be more gender-neutral or gender-inclusive when we speak/write/refer is something we can aspire to practice.

One hurdle we have in the Jewish community is Hebrew which is a gendered language. For example, what do we call a Bar or Bat Mitzvah (son or daughter of the commandment) who may not identify as strictly male or female? We can use the term B’nei Mitzvah, which even though is masculine-plural, is also plural for mixed genders, others opt for B-Mitzvah to avoid gender altogether, and others are still finding more creative expressions for this communal, yet very personal event.

Even though we don’t have these practices entirely worked out, the first step for all of us is to be sensitive to the diversity of gender expression, the next is to educate ourselves on terminology, and the last is to re-examine the ways in which we are or are not inclusive and strive to create safe surroundings and conversations for all to participate in comfortably.

To learn more about the many ways in which people identify and how to properly refer to them, click here.

For a guide to gender-neutral B-Mitzvah, click here.

Shabbat shalom,

Beth

Fri, March 29 2024 19 Adar II 5784