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The commemoration of Tisha B’av has always struck a chord with me. Something about it has resonated, even though it isn’t prominently commemorated in Reform Jewish life.  

Tisha B’av is traditionally known as the most somber day on the Jewish calendar. On this day, observant Jews recite lamentations, fast and mourn the destruction of the Temples in Jerusalem that occurred more than 2,000 years ago. 

While mourning the destruction of the Temple is foreign to me, there is something powerful about a day of lamenting: a day where we say, it's OKAY to be sad. 

Much of our holidays and Torah stories instruct us to focus on the good and to be happy. 

For instance, during the season of Purim we are commanded to be joyful. 

A few weeks ago we read in the Torah Portion Shelach Lecha: 12 spies are sent out to scout the land of Egypt. 10 come back with a negative report, while 2 come back with a positive one. The lesson I often teach from this Torah story is that we should always be “looking for the good.” 

And a few months ago we read in the portion Beshalach that the Israelites complained about life in the desert and the less-than-perfect food options. And usually, the takeaway from this portion is: “DON'T be like the Israelites, be grateful for the blessings that surround us.” 

As we approach Tisha B’av (on the evening of July 26th), I wonder, in what ways can this day be relevant for us? Of course, most of us do not enjoy being sad, or suffering. But what if perhaps, for just this one day, we embraced it?

It's likely not the destruction of the Temple we are lamenting, but whatever it is that is weighing on us, causing us sadness, and grief, perhaps on Tisha B’av, it's okay to sit with it. And to say loudly and proudly: “this is horrible” or “this is unfair” or “I am very sad.”  This is a chance for us to try out the ancient practice of lamenting and reading from the Book of Lamentations. Of course, generally speaking, it's an unpleasant way to be, but sometimes, we should be able to just feel what we want to feel. Sometimes we should notice that the world around us can be unfair and unkind, and sometimes our circumstances are not as we want them to be.

The Shabbat after Tisha B’av is known as Shabbat Nachamu, a Shabbat of comfort. The words of the Haftarah recite “comfort, comfort my people.” This begins a period of consolation leading up to Rosh Hashanah. Maybe this year, if we sit with our sadness on this one day, new healing, growth and transformation might occur for us.

Shabbat Shalom.